So I woke up at sparrowfart (if you’re not from Australia, “sparrowfart” is a term for early in the morning, apparently because it’s so quiet you could hear a sparrow farting. We have other similar colourful phrases such as “I’m so hungry I could eat the arse off a chinaman through a cane-chair”. (I offer that for posterity and apologise for it’s inappropriateness in light of current standards. I have respect and brotherly affection for people from China, cane chairs, farting, sparrows .. but .. well, maybe not cannibalism.

I rode the train & bus out to a place called Coomera, and began a long and windy walk down the Gold Coast.

Siri and Google Maps led me astray at first, suggesting there was a shortcut if I wound around back behind Dreamworld (a local theme park with a storied history). I did that, and it was worth it, meeting a couple of lovely blokes who pulled up for a chat, and even made donations to the charity — BUT it unnecessarily added about 6-8km to my journey, because the map expected me to execute some kind of polevault over a high fence (with spikes on it) land on train tracks, and walk over a long train bridge (ignoring government warnings that if I attempted this, there’d be trouble)

So I got back on track and headed into the coast.

It was a long, hot morning, not a storm in sight – and I had hoped and expected to be lashed by thunderbolts and lightning (very very frighting!) all day, have a real weather-test.

I met so many lovely people. The GC is full of friendly, decent people who will pull over for a chat, ask all kinds of insightful questions, just plain great stuff. It has a rough reputation (a bit at least) these days, increasing street violence, and I certainly DID see a kid getting bashed at Southport last weekend (and intervened, yelling at the attackers who scattered and ran). But yesterday, I was amazed and inspired by the kindness.

A family with a gorgeous young dude named Levi (toddler) pulled over for a chat, and gave me an icy cold coke & water.

I met this wonderful woman who had suffered setback after setback fighting her way back from hospital acquired post surgical infection and sepsis. Almost a year of horrible suffering. But she was strong, vibrant, leaning into her health. Her hope was wobbly, but I like to think I was able to give some encouraging words that helped her to see that hope is the most fundamental and important tool in any fight. The belief that “I can win this”.

Some really great, colourful people. Kindness. Chats. The walk itself came in close to 40km, but I actually spent more than 10 hours ‘down the Coast’ with all the rambling and G’days.

At the end, the thunderstorm DID hit, and I was able to walk for a half hour or so through lashing rain.

The bag, the boots, everything, withstood it really well. The pants regrettably weren’t great, soaked through very quickly, and even though the socks were sealskin and water resistant, I could feel them becoming gluggy … but I reckon even in severe rain, I could walk for hour stints, dry off, rest a bit, repeat. Unless the weather is outright dangerous, I’m pretty confident now I can sustainably walk all day even in grim weather.

Today (Sunday) I’ve just been chilling at home, joking around with the kids on-and-off while I look at setting up a t-shirt store. (Yep, not my forte).

It’s been suggested I need to figure out cryptocurrency and receive donations in that format – but I just can’t wrap my head around that, or how I’d manage the process of collection, conversion and passing to The Kids’ Cancer Project (they don’t touch it). When I started out, I figured it could all be online and I wouldn’t have to worry about anything but the walking.

But at a minimum, cash donations have been a major consideration and something to factor in. At least it’s easy. I take a little video with the person’s details, take the cash, and when I get to a shady or quiet spot I just process them (making a donation myself, you might see “Roadside” next to somebody’s name on the charity page (https://captain-australias-big-walk.raisely.com/) but it’s actually a donation against my credit card and cash into my pocket.

So it’s all a bit more complex than I’d first planned, and I’m just an old boofhead.

I *THINK* I’m a smart person .. maybe some chemo-induced cognitive decline, but still smart – but playing around with one of these t-shirt websites (where a company, in this case Tee Junction in Melbourne does everything, but I have to create a vendor site and the designs), this was my best effort:

http://captainaustralia.tshirts.net.au/

I’d absolutely welcome any feedback – I’m going to try and find a designer willing to work for free (COVID killed my travel insurance company, and all profit goes to The Kids’ Cancer Project).

So that’s a project to look at when I’m on a rest/family day.

Tomorrow I’ll dress up as Captain Australia again, and walk out to Jindalee where I’m planning to buy a solar blanket (small) to add to my kit to make sure I’m as independant as possible. There will be some points in the BIG WALK when I will be away from towns for up to 3 days, so I need to carry enough water, and the solar blanket will help me make sure I can stay in touch.

Just a brief heads up that tomorrow I will set out from Coomera and walk down to Broadbeach.

I’ll approach it as if it were part of my BIG WALK, try and get better video, share the experience better than anything I’ve done to date (fingers crossed).

I’m also hoping the forecast is on-the-money, as thunderstorms are predicted, a bit of wild weather, so with the wet & the heat it will be a bit of an endurance walk, and a chance to see how well my equipment resists the weather.

More after the walk 🙂

Oh dear. I just realised that Captain Australia’s BIG WALK (For The Kids’ Cancer Project) starts in 2 months. Time is whittling away on me, in just TWO MONTHS, I hit the road !

Was out practicing again today, and I think the stream’s technical quality was pretty good.

I just need to get my act together in terms of what I have to say and how I say it 🙂

The video is a combination of streams, and lamentably, the quality is not good. Sound is all over the shop. For a large part of one of the streams, the camera on my shoulder is looking BACKWARD, so what you see is the things I’m walking away from. Hmmm … is cancer back there somewhere ?

I like to think it is.

I saw a young man being beaten today, 4v1. They were punching him in the face while he lay prone on the ground.

I didnt think, I just surged over, yelling. I liked that yell, if I’m completely honest. It was a yell of absolute authority. Like some kind of samurai. I know I sound like a dickhead saying that, but if you were there, you’d agree. All the people around were a bit amazed, I think. Why weren’t any of them yelling ?

I stormed forward, yelling “GET THE FUCK OFF HIM !! YOU DONT HIT SOMEONE ON THE GROUND !!”

The aggressors scattered, and police arrived a few moments later, to little effect, regrettably. The victim apparently didnt want to press charges, he just wanted to get away from there. Apparently he had “looked at them wrong”.

When I yelled, it was …like the voice of your father, catching you doing something shameful, something profane. There was power in it, I think that’s why they ran away. I have no illusions, I know they could have turned and beaten the shit out of me as well. Or could they ? I know one thing – I wouldn’t just lie down for them.

It’s funny, I appall violence. It is disgusting to me. Dirty and sick. Sad and shameful.

And yet, when I stand up. Stand up firm, strong, I feel something. Maybe it’s just that manly thing, that ape thing. That readiness to do what you have to do in the face of a violent aggressor. At least in my case it’s righteous. Those guys really were scumbags.

In the stream I reflect on that. Part musing, part rant. Just processing what happened.

The thing is – that dark act, it darkened my outlook. Darkened what I had to say. The message.

It’s like cancer. Spreads. Grows.

I’m believing more and more that darkness, hate, xenophobia, fear, isolation, anxiety – all those negative energies are a concrete and measurable force in our world. Hard to see and measure, sure, but existent, real, something tangible. And I’m further seeing that kindness, compassion, courage, decency, humanity, honesty, vulnerability – all of those things .. counteract them, those positive things also spread in the sharing.

I think the seesaw in our society is out of whack, the balance is wrong. There’s more dark than light, if I’m honest.

But we can change that.

You and me.

It applies at the personal level, the culture level, religiosity, at the national and global level. We need to embrace our neighbour. Share, be honest. Teach, accept, learn, grow. If we can do those things, we can save ourselves, our children and our world.

I think my experience with cancer has taught me that.

The darkness, it doesn’t have to win.

Anyway, I met some truly awesome guys later, funny as hell. Charming even. Young, but marked by suffering, I think they had their own measure of empathy. Wild, frenzied almost even, but good. Looking for truth, looking for meaning. Seekers. Haha, I truly enjoyed them. I’d like to see them again one day.

They called me “Military Santa”

Haha.

I like that. I may even need to do a brand change 🙂

I’m still pretty bad at the streaming. Not just the recording of it, but knowing WHEN to record. I think I should just try and do it naturally, be myself, as if I am recording an adventure for myself and my family (and accept that in this case, I’ve just open my family to include you as my wider family).

That way the pressure is off. I still want to do a good job, but I don’t have to stress out so much or worry about what I have to say, whether it has value, is entertaining. I can just be me.

I made my first friend in years, yesterday. DAMO !!!

Met on a park bench, passed the time chatting for something close to 3 hours, I think. I’d intended to walk around as Captain Australia promoting the charity, but I wound up sitting and talking. I hope my BIG WALK turns out like that. Sure, walking, adventure, seeing new places – but I hope I bumble along and meet people like Damo, hear their stories.

I just regret being too shy to ask if I could turn the camera on, if I’d done that, you’d have gotten to enjoy some insight, comedy, sad history, hope – anyway, met a lovely bloke who I count as a new friend.

Before that, I was invited to meet an oncology mum’s support group. What wonderful people. I was the only male in attendance, it was all this beautiful feminine energy, geared toward helping each other (and their families) move forward through the most horrible of adversaries. They gave me a cap afterward, as if I’d become a surrogate member of their tribe: I will treasure it, and wear is as I go about my day-to-day life. Such lovely people. But their stories are private, so I’ll keep them to myself.

So I didn’t do much to promote the charity, but EVEN SO, this beautiful, glorious human pulls over in her car, gets out, hugs and has kind words with me. We talk about my story, my goals, and we both start to cry a little bit. Why ? Because she donated FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS to The Kids’ Cancer Project.

That means 100 hours of research into the science behind the disease – the types of cancer that specifically target kids.

That might not have happened if not for my BIG WALK. I’m delighted by that.

My BIG WALK is healing. I’m getting better, coming alive in ways that I couldn’t have anticipated. Overcoming horrible pain, suffering and darkness. And pure truth: “Kindness is the cure to suffering”. But it’s not my own kindness that’s healing me, it’s these waves of wonderful kindness from people like Debbie (that was her name)

Instinct told me, ten months ago, that I’d be dead in the next few years if I didn’t FIGHT. Inspiration told me to reach into my past to empower my future. To try again the BIG WALK that saved my life as a child. Courage told me to make it BIGGER, in every sense: longer (Melbourne instead of Sydney) and theatrical (to help an important charity: The Kids’ Cancer Project).

And I feel so blessed, so very blessed. It’s working.

I’m coming alive again.

Just a quick post advising that tomorrow (16 October) I’ll ride a train down to the Gold Coast early in the morning, and spend the morning trying to give 100 Hugs, to honourably complete the DAILY DONOR DARE OF DOOOOOOOM! made by Katy a couple of days ago.

These Dares haven’t really taken off, I guess they were my way of:

a) showing commitment to the charity

b) lightening what is a very grim topic, making it more accessible and a little bit fun

c) adding some awkward and cringey entertainment to the whole spectacle, heh

So tomorrow I’ll be wandering the Gold Coast trying to coax people into a HUG. It’s actually a really challenging dare because:

a) I look like an absolute weirdo

b) even in the best conditions it’s weird & hard

c) COVID and social distancing add an entirely new layer of hesitation to the dynamic

But, Katy’s DARE becomes my DOOM, I’m completely on the hook for it.

All for The Kid’s Cancer Project, you can donate today !

Wednesday night, I woke at 2am with an AGONIZING cramp in my right leg. Just as I was drifting back to sleep, it struck again – worse than any leg cramp I’ve had before. Unlike normal muscular cramps they weren’t abating but intensifying.

Half an hour later, another one, this time in my right leg (which is actually usually a good sign it may not be DVT, which apparently is more likely to hit just one leg). I spent the rest of the night pacing, stretching, heating the legs, which felt vulnerable, sore, prone to a new attack at any moment.

Saw my doctor (great guy) in the morning, he ordered an emergency Doppler Scan (a type of ultrasound that looks at veins) to exclude a vaccination-induced DVT.

Turns out I’m in the clear – it’s just swelling and cramps, an uncommon but less rare (and not life threatening) adverse reaction.

Just bad luck, I guess.

So last night, another night of these TRULY AWFUL cramps, but they felt less severe (or maybe me just better at managing them). Over hydration, magnesium supplement, elevation – I think these helped mitigate the severity somewhat.

But I’ve lost two days of practice with my walking, talking, streams, dressing up as Captain Australia (the homebrand, boofhead superhero) getting ready for the BIG WALK (Brisbane to Melbourne 26.12.21) for The Kids’ Cancer Project.

I actually feel great in a way. I’ve been dealing with some pretty crippling chronic medical issues for five years now, not directly caused by the cancer, but by it’s treatment. Facial spasms and cramps, pain, lumps in the neck (accumulated fluid from underperforming lymph nodes damaged by radiation), thyroid damage, tinnitus (constant ringing in the ears, like ALL THE TIME, which I need mental discipline to zone out), loss of taste, hearing, vision issues, a whole laundry-list of stuff. And before I found my hope, these issues had cascaded, ganged up on me, and were slowly crippling me.

Now ? My reaction is annoyance at losing a couple of days prep.

I like that.

I think it’s a sign of mental health that you can take things in your stride.

Which is good, because I think it offsets the fact that dressing up as a superhero could arguably be taken as a sign that you’ve gone bonkers.

Haha.

Tomorrow, I’ll go down to the Gold Coast (not walking this time). Even if I still get some cramps tonight and my legs are still wobbly, I’m pretty eager to go ahead as planned. I’ll be visiting some mothers affected by childhood cancer, keeping the details quiet, but they wrote to me when they saw the TV appearances, asking if I could visit their group. I’m humbled and eager – anything I could do to bring even a small bit of light to these people, I want to.

Next week, I’m hoping the posters will finally arrive. It’s been a windy road. They’ll look like this:

It’s been a saga – because I did the layout, and I’m not a professional, so some of the file sizes, resolutions, etc needed fixing, and I asked a designer at the charity to help. The goal being to replicate the design and just fix some of the technical issues. More time lost, then I get this back. Maybe it’s objectively better, I don’t know. (I dislike it a LOT).

Anyway, it really took the wind out of my sails and slowed me down, and when I said I didn’t like it I ended up losing more time going through how necessary the changes were. It was my first bad experience in all this, up until that moment everything was optimism, and hope.

I’m realising I’m no longer built for Corporate Australia, if the borders re-opening don’t allow me to viably re-boot my travel insurance company, I’m going to have to be careful when looking for a job after I get back from THE BIG WALK.

I just did a walk along the river today, dressed as the homebrand boofhead superhero Captain Australia. All in preparation for Captain Australia’s BIG WALK (for The Kids’ Cancer Project). Primary goal was practicing the live stream, secondary is meeting people and being a walking billboard for the charity, hopefully garnering donations/support from the public.

I’m actually much happier with the quality of the streams now. Still far from perfect, and my long rambling chats are probably not helpful – but in terms of the quality of the vision and audio, it’s getting there.

On Saturday, I’ll attempt to live stream another DAILY DONOR DARE OF DOOM (Hug 100 people!).

All for The Kids’ Cancer Project.